Who is #Falcao?
Radamel Falcao Garcia Zarate, Falcao for short, is a Colombian soccer star.
He sent Twitter into meltdown on Monday when he joined Manchester United on a one-year loan from Monaco, swapping the French Riviera for a considerably higher tax bill and a city where it rains 53 percent of the year.
Aged 28, he scores goals. Lots of them. During spells with Porto, Atletico Madrid and Monaco, he's earned a reputation as one of Europe's finest strikers.
Monday was European football's "transfer deadline day," the last opportunity for the continent's top teams to sign new players. Imagine NFL draft day, only with no structure and more chaos.
Good news for Manchester United, then?
Yes and no. Falcao is good enough to improve any team, but United hardly needed another attacking player.
Last week it paid Real Madrid nearly $100 million to sign Angel di Maria, a forward-thinking addition to a squad that already included the likes of Robin van Persie, Wayne Rooney and Juan Mata.
Throw Falcao into the mix and United manager Louis van Gaal is spoiled for choice at the front of his line-up, but it's at the rear where his team is exposed.
United is yet to win this season and recently suffered a humiliating 4-0 defeat to third division team MK Dons in the League Cup.
Simply put, United signing Falcao is like buying a really nice sweater but forgetting to put on your trousers.
Wait, you said Colombia. Where was he at the World Cup?
The man nicknamed "El Tigre" (The Tiger) missed Colombia's run to the quarterfinals of Brazil 2014 with a knee injury he picked up in January.
The whole country was praying their star striker would be fit for selection, so much so that Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos even visited Falcao in hospital, but sadly it wasn't to be.
In his absence, James (pronounced "Ham-ez") Rodriguez scored six goals as Colombia swaggered its way into the last eight before defeat to hosts Brazil.
A new star was born, and Rodriguez is now strutting his stuff at Real Madrid having also left Monaco.
Did Falcao not fancy joining 'Ham-ez' in Madrid?
Funny you should mention that.
On Saturday a Tweet sent from Falcao's official account said (a rough translation) "Go Madrid, a dream come true."
But Falcao swiftly denied sending the tweet, saying his profile had been compromised.
Who is the middle man in the transfer?
Uber agent Jorge Mendes, who is seemingly doing his utmost to keep the Portuguese economy afloat. As well as Falcao and Rodriguez, Mendes brokered the deal to bring Di Maria to Old Trafford and Eliaquim Mangala to Manchester City.
Where can I find his Twitter account?
@FALCAO is his official Twitter handle. He's also on Instagram and if you head over there you'll find proof he's also pretty handy with a baseball bat.