Christmas Pudding

And if the Sussex Pond Pudding is the queen, this magnificent double-steamed beast is most certainly the king. Packed with more fruit and nuts than a shop full of Whole Foods hippies, it's rich, dark and strongly flavored as it's allowed to mature before its final steaming. They're traditionally made on Stir Up Sunday (the last Sunday before Advent) but some swear they're best when allowed to mature for years.

As a vital part of a British Christmas lunch, a proper Christmas pud should be crowned with holly, doused in brandy and set on fire, borne into the dining room by a triumphant cook. My mother sloshes on the brandy with great enthusiasm -- so far no lost eyebrows.

You'll likely only manage a small portion, but don't worry about leftovers. My Scottish mother-in-law remembers her grandmother and great-aunt frying slices of Christmas pudding in butter and lemon juice on Boxing Day. And if that doesn't clog your arteries warm the cockles of your heart, I don't know what will.